My taste buds are ready. My mouth watering. Saliva building at the anticipation of the yummy. I can taste it in my mind. I wish that tasting it in my mind, especially the sinful foods, would satisfy my appetite and that I would be able to resist them altogether. Oh well, I can't resist or is that I don't want to resist? Is it really as easy as deciding to and then doing so? For me, the answer is nope!
I know I need to get disciplined in the area of diet and fitness, do I want to, Yes! Do I do? (lol). No shadow of shame her at LIT!
Isn't it funny how we don't want anyone to know our business when it's not favorable or exciting business? Why is that?
I enjoy fruit, among other foods, but I especially enjoy a good apple, so when I bite into an apple expecting it to be juicy, sweet, and savory, only to bite into it and taste nothing, no sweetness, no juicy, just yuck, I am disappointed. I throw it in the trash.
I spoke with one my great nephews, as I do often while they are in the car being driven to school by their mom, my niece, and he shared with me a dream he had had a couple of days earlier. We had planned to talk earlier in the week, but it's all about scheduling and Gods timing. So here we are about to have this conversation about his dream. I am excited to hear from him. I can barely contain myself. I get a thrill when I hear the sweet voices of my nieces and nephews. Nothing like the love an Auntie has for her Darlins.
He says to me, "Auntie, I dreamed that I went to heaven, but I couldn't take my steak with me, so I hid it under my pillow and I took it to heaven with me anyway. When I was in heaven I got an apple, and I bit the apple, but the apple didn't have a taste. It tasted like nothing." My mind is swirling. I have pictures flowing through my mind. I bite my lip in effort not to interrupt him. Something is leaping in me. Like the fluttering of butterflies in my belly. I'm tripping off the fact that I too was having a serious issue with food, concerning some hot wings to be exact. I was mad about them hot wings for a minute. I said to him, "I understand, because I just had an issue concerning some hot wings that I wanted and expected." So I shared my story with him and everyone else in the car while they listened on speaker.
I shared that I had dedicated quite a bit of time volunteering for a non-profit, which I was assigned to by God, and that when you volunteer, you don't expect anything in return and you don't ask anything in return, but definitely being human with emotions, you automatically want to be appreciated for all you do. Everyone wants to feel appreciated I told them. But I knew God was watching my every move and continuously searching my heart, so I did everything unto the Lord, knowing that He definitely apprreciated me. I told them how after over a year and some months of volunteering, I asked for an order of hot wings, since food was being ordered. Unfortunately, I wasn't appreciated, not even to the point of getting an order of hot wings. No one found my story amusing, but noted that that was a crying shame that I couldn't even get a measly six piece. As soon as I finished sharing my story, my niece, the mother of my great nephews and niece, chimed in, she said "Auntie, if you had not been obedient in all the situations over the last year and a half while participating in building up the Kingdom of God, you would not have been able to taste the fruit. You would not have been able to experience God's favor in your life as you do now. I started shouting Hallelujah, and jumping around my kitchen, because I understood the assignment in that moment. God was downloading revelation of my nephew's dream to his Mom. Amazing! everyone in the car was rejoicing with me. I could hear their smiles over the phone. My niece went on speaking to me about how God is favoring me because I chose to honor Him and not lean on my own understanding. Not walking in my flesh, but rather putting the assignment first and foremost.
Here's the thing, I had been put through a series of tests, although I didn't know I was being tested. In every situation, the deceit was so subtle that I walked right into the snares of the enemy, so I thought. Thank God I had been disciplined in fasting and praying weekly, not necessarily to perfection, sometimes I fell off, but then I would start again and continue on. I had made up in my mind to open my heart, to embrace The New Thing God promised me when He instructed me to launch Living In Transition (LIT). I decided to accept the invitation He extended to me to unwrap the gifts of the secrets unknown.
The acceptance of this invitation required me to stop pulling the covers over my head when He woke me however early in the morning He chose. He desired me to spend time in His presence. It became apparent to me after a while, that the void I had continuously felt prior to dedicating myself to a life of prayer and fasting, was because no matter how much time I spent in the word, no matter how much time I spent in prayer rooms during corporate prayer, no matter how much time I spent logged onto Social Media listening to Teachers and Preachers, none of it was a substitute for spending time sitting with Him, talking with Him and praying in the Spirit and altogether consecrating myself to Him.
"You search and keep on searching and examining the scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; and yet it is those very scriptures that testify about Me; and still you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life." (John 5:39-40)
The Spirit gives life. It's were wisdom is given liberally. It is were Grace abounds. It is the true definition of Intimacy. Nothing like it in all the world. No amount of comfort food. No amount of good preaching. No amount of therapy. No amount of conversation with trusted and wise counsel. The presence of the Lord is the place to be or else be void.
I did not see the traps with my natural eyes. The events appeared to be as innocent as "Oh well, people are people, I'll go buy my own hot wings, smh" and I did. Or " She so nice, yes girl let's do this," and we did. Then "Oh ok, I've been looking for someone to work with me on this project, when can we start?" and we started. I pulled out of the "Let's do this." I pulled out of the "When can we start?" And I went and bought my own hot wings. Little did I know, it was all a set-up for my good.
My nephew said, "Auntie, I couldn't taste the apple because I snuck my steak into heaven." I was shouting in their ears and they were laughing and shouting in mine. We all understood. It was God! God was confirming to me that in each situation, with each decision that I made to walk in integrity, to walk in my God given authority and to exercise my power, that I had indeed done the right thing and that God was pleased with my faithfulness. That I had responded to His prompting and had allowed His glory to be displayed through me. I was so overjoyed in that moment. I was so very grateful to the Lord.
I now know that Jesus actually dying for us on the cross and bringing us over to God's side, took away the enemies authority over our lives, and has given us authority and power to trample over him instead. However; the authority given to us does not negate the power that he has that can be detrimental to our lives if we don't enforce the power we have been given to be able to trample over serpents and scorpions to overcome all the power of the enemy. That power is the Holy Spirit that resides in us. Because of Holy Spirit I recognize that those things that I was being tested in, weren't from the enemy but from the Father Himself. He was counting on my faithfulness so that I could experience all of it working for my good and I did.
''For You, O LORD, bless the righteous man (the one who is in right standing with You);
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